If you’ve experienced a pregnancy, you’ll know that suddenly your body seems to become public domain. EVERYONE seems to need to comment on every single change you’re going through – as if you haven’t already noticed and nit-picked about them yourself! I’ve always been the type of person that took ownership of my own body, and tried my best to field off comments from other people. I am a pretty small person when I’m not pregnant, so I have always gotten comments in some degree on my size, being pregnant it just feels different.
- When announcing that I am pregnant: “I was wondering! You’ve seemed really unfocused and slow lately!”
- “Are you sure you’ll be able to deliver naturally? You’re such a small person! Wouldn’t you rather schedule a C-Section?”
- NOTE: Women’s bodies are designed to give birth, and women smaller than I am have had successful natural births – I am putting faith in my doctor to take my wishes into consideration, but if she feels that for the safety of the baby and I a c-section is necessary, that is the only way we will plan to go down that route. I don’t think any woman would tell you that a c-section is the easy way out. The recovery time is way different and potentially longer!
- “It must be so weird putting on all that weight!”/”Hey heifer!”/”Oh! you’re REALLY starting to show!”
- Yes, it is weird, I haven’t gained any significant weight in my life, blessed with a fast metabolism and mostly healthy lifestyle. I surpassed my heaviest weight very early in my pregnancy, and I struggle with is every day. So THANK YOU for continually pointing out that I am essentially turning into a beached whale. Really appreciate it.
- “You’re only HOW far along?”
- Again, thanks…
- “What will you do about your dog?”
- This one boggles my mind, we made a commitment to our dog and we put a lot of time and training into his upbringing. Yes, he is still a puppy, but he’s our puppy, our furry baby. There is absolutely no way we would get rid of our dog because we were having a baby. We are adults, we understood that very likely Bomber’s life and a child or two may overlap, and we were hoping for it! We firmly believe that in our circumstances, we can train and prepare Bomber for the baby as best we can. He is still a puppy (he’ll hit “the magic 2” as everyone calls it right around my due date, I think it’s perfect timing), and we work on training every day – working on his patience, his urge to jump, his obsessive barking, and when it is okay to bring out his protective nature. We’ve already set up our stroller and started bringing baby stuff in the house, and our goal is to set up the baby room as soon as we can, so we can start working on our training with the baby’s stuff, before the baby actually moves into there.
- Plus, Bomber LOVES THE BUMP!
- “What do you mean you won’t tell me the sex of your baby? Come on, I won’t tell!”
- We seriously aren’t doing this to offend anyone, we’ve just decided that for the foreseeable future, we want to keep the sex of our baby to ourselves after finding out during my fetal assessment. It really has nothing to do with anyone, we just want to have this as our thing for a while, especially because it feels like even though it’s our child and my pregnancy – it’s actually not really about me at all. Families survived for centuries not knowing what the baby’s sex was, and they will survive this time – I promise!
In addition to a few of the things that I have found especially hurtful, here are some other things you really shouldn’t say to pregnant women
- “Are you sure you aren’t having twins?” (why why why must we point out that a woman growing a person is getting bigger?)
- “I bet you’re starting to regret your decision” (I bet you she’s not)
- “Here’s some terrifying facts about childbirth and babies I felt compelled to tell you about” (becoming a parent for the first time is nerve wracking enough, just leave it there)
- “Your body’s never going to look the same” (is that necessarily a bad thing?)
- *An endless stream of unsolicited advise* (always well intended, but often overwhelming).
So before you open your mouth to say any of these things to a pregnant woman, think about whether or not you would be happy to hear any of these things come your way, then add at least five times the frustration and emotion on top of that (because.. hormones). If your comment still seems like something you should say, proceed with caution.
Remember, like our mamas always taught us: if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Until next time,