Anyone else feel as if as soon as you got pregnant every parent decided to come at you with the most horrific stories about pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood? At times, it’s almost as if everyone takes pleasure in watching you squirm when they tell you something gross about the whole process of becoming a parent. They just laugh and say “oh I must be freaking you out!” with a bit of a smirk on their face. I’m sure on some level you think you’re being helpful trying to scare me before I give birth, but here’s the thing:
I’d rather you didn’t.
Yes, that’s a little blunt.
I don’t even care.
I’m 28 years old and I’m not naive to the the realities of childbirth. Here are the things I know for sure:
- Pregnancy is hard (in more ways than one)
- Parenting is not black & white or predictable at all
- Children do not become the people you expect them to be (and there isn’t anything wrong with that)
- You do not become exactly the parent you set out to be (because all is great in the planning department before your child actually arrives, and we all know that sometimes, letting the toddler take the win is better than straining your mental health for the fight – because toddlers are stubborn)
- Birth is messy (how could it not be? A person is coming out of your body either vaginally or via cesarean)
But most importantly:
6. Birth is beautiful.
Trying to scare someone before their birth experience is selfish.
While making my way through The Pregnancy Podcast, I came across an episode on Hypnobirthing. Now I’ll be honest, I had no interest in the hypnobirthing itself, but the guest on that episode said something that really resonated with me and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind as I start researching and preparing for the birth of Bump. The guest, Suzy Ashworth from the Calm Birth School, said that so many women are terrified going into the labour and birth of their child, that their body is so tense and so rigid, that the woman isn’t able to relax and let her body do what it’s designed and trying to do. Whether through lack of education on the mother’s part, or horror stories from the experienced women around her – mother’s go into the labour and delivery of their child terrified, and thus results in more interventions (claims of Ashworth).
This got me thinking – why are so many parents so inclined to try and scare new parents about childbirth and parenting? Once the mother is pregnant and the couple have decided to keep the baby, there isn’t turning back at this point – what use is it being so negative?
I am determined to have a great birth experience, because there’s no reason that I shouldn’t! Even pending an emergency or something not going 100% my way, I still get to meet Bump at the end of it. Isn’t that really what it’s all about? Getting to finally hold your new baby that you’ve been carrying for all that time?
I am in the process of making my Birth Plan and talking to my doctor about how labour and delivery looks like at the hospital I’m giving birth at. I have been researching like a mad person interventions and natural births, making sure I’m informed on what may come up while I’m giving birth, and the risks of all of it. Making the decisions that I feel are best for me is what’s important, but I know that when it comes down to it my doctor isn’t going to suggest anything that will harm either the baby or I.
Here’s the kicker, I wrote this blog post about the people around me trying to scare me leading up to giving birth, but since becoming pregnant I think this is the only aspect I’ve been consistently calm about. Giving birth doesn’t actually scare me, I’m currently not even overly nervous about it. I have faith in my body and in my doctor, everything will go amazingly and I will get my little Bump at the end of it all, so I guess you could say that I am actually looking forward to it!
Mamas! How did you feel leading up to the labour and delivery of your baby? Let me know in the comments!
Until next time,